What Happened?

How on earth two whole years have passed since I started this "blog thing" is beyond me. I'm sure these people are wondering "what happened"? as well. They are all celebrating birthdays in February:

February 05 - Lisa A.
February 10 - Lisa P.
February 13 - Kelly
February 17 - Kayne
February 17 - Jean

Happy Birthday to all of you. Hope 2007 is spectacular!

Love,
Mae

P.S. Be sure to wear your birthday suit often before it gets all wrinkly.

Moments of Mortification

I'm sure this will end up being a series of posts, but for now, I present you with this gem:

Friday night and we're out at the usual spot, LuLu's. Everybody is having a great time, and I've gone the entire evening without making an ass of myself. And then...

I walked to the upper bar at about 1:00a to see what was happening. My least favorite bartender was working. Now mind you, on a normal, sunny, sober day, I can't stand the sight of this guy. He's rude and abrasive and generally just a jerk. Actually reminds me of an ex. So I am sitting there with a friend chatting, and suddenly I am possessed by what I can only assume was the DEVIL HIMSELF. I leaned across the bar and said "Hey ____, we should just make out already and get it over with." Oh.my.god! Where did that come from? Not even I can answer that one. It gets better...his girlfriend was sitting five feet away when I made this not-at-all-quiet request.

I almost made it through the entire night without doing anything stupid! I guess the whole night was too much to hope for considering the number of rum drinks I consumed.

The End.

Happy New Year!

And happy it will be. Big Head Todd & The Monsters are coming to the Big Island for AN ENTIRE WEEK in May. They are playing two shows at the Prince Hapuna in Waikoloa. I plan to stay for the entire week and try not to drool on myself in front of Todd Park Mohr. It would be really great if my knees didn't turn to jelly, too. So if the universe could just go ahead and make that happen, that'd be great.

So happy new year and here's hoping you don't drool on yourself or turn to jelly. Unless that's your thing, of course.

Love,
Mae

09690-081 SPEAKS

"I really have no idea what I'm supposed to be writing in this thing..."

"Personally, I find 'blogging' rather tedious and too canned. I much prefer the spontaneity of instant messaging and archiving the text."
~thus spoketh bobbo 092306

p.s. jodes is cute.

p.p.s. awww i am fucken blushing! for real.

p.p.p.s. you got style you got class you got soul you're bad ass

p.p.p.p.s. seems down your back alleys, anything goes.

p.p.p.p.p.s. word.

I Refuse To Let Common Sense Cloud My Judgment

...so reads the postcard that Mrs. Spalding sent to me! I LOVE IT :)

So long, and thanks for all the fish!

Tambamboozlepatootinrootinroozle!

Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday To You!

Happy Birthday Dear Tambamboozlepatootinrootinroozle,

Happy Birthday To You!



P.S. Hpoe yuo cuold raed teh crad I mialed ot yuo ;)

TOWANDA! Or, Mill Avenue Inspires Memories of Evelyn Couch

THE SCENE: Evelyn is cut off in a parking lot

Evelyn Couch: Hey! I was waiting for that spot!
Girl #1: Face it, lady, we're younger and faster!

THE ACTION: Evelyn rear-ends the other car six times

Girl #1: What the hell are you doing?
Girl #2: Are you fucking crazy?

Evelyn Couch: Face it, girls, I'm older and I have more insurance.

The Waste Land

My nerves are bad tonight. Yes, bad. Stay with me.
Speak to me. Why do you never speak? Speak.
What are you thinking of? What thinking? What?
I never know what you are thinking. Think.

Who Threw a Handle?

Don't any of you even entertain a single thought about going as "The Landlady" for Halloween this year. She's MINE!!!

I'm the Lyrical Jesse James

Challenge:
Band? Song Title?

Rule:
No internet cheating. Rub those two remaining brain cells together and let me know who sang it and the title of the song without the aid of the world wide web. Good luck!

Prize:
You'll have the power.


Bye now.

I'm Just Sitting in My Car and Waiting for Serj Tankian

"You know that every time I try to go where I really want to be, it’s already where I am, cause I’m already there."

(SUGAR!!!)

~~~

"I think you do what you’re destined to do," says Tankian, expressing what could serve as his band’s credo. "If you follow your heart and you follow your path, then you’ll always be safe with anything that you do..."


P.S. Look out, MJK.

The Party of the First Part

According to our contract, at precisely midnight, at the moment of her greatest triumph, the party of the first part, that's you, agrees to render up her soul now and forever more to the party of the second part, that's me. Shall we go?

Chasing Rabbits

"Who am I, then? Tell me that first, and then, if I like being that person, I'll come up; if not, I'll stay down here till I'm somebody else."

Slinkies

Some people are like Slinkies...

Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Shout Out!

To my peeps Vicki and Adam, who gave me the coolest belated birthday gift EVER!! You guys rock my world. Thanks.

BHTM

Saturday afternoon I went to the McDowell Mountain Music Festival to see Big Head Todd & The Monsters. As if that weren't cool enough, I actually got to meet most of the band (Todd and Brian anyway) and have photos taken! Now if only I weren’t so technologically feeble, I might be able to post said pictures for all of your viewing! If you really want to see them, leave a comment and I’ll share the link to my Ofoto page. It was all very exciting.

When they left the stage, Vicki and I decided to head to the trailer area toward the back. We talked to a guy named Scott that turned out to be best friends with Brian Nevin (drummer). He walked off with the promise to “see what he could do”…so we waited a few minutes at the fence. Then we noticed a gaping hole in the fence! So we just waltzed in there like we owned the place and around the corner in the dining tent, we found Scott and Brian! After a few photos were snapped, Vicki asked Brian for an autograph. He said no problem and headed back toward the trailer to get something to write with (we were quite the prepared fans, I can tell you). But THEN, THEN, we saw Todd Mohr coming out of the trailer! So we ran over and some nice guy took photos of both of us with them! And Todd is every bit as cute up close as he is on the stage. GRRRR!

TTFN

I've decided I like reading blogs a lot more than I like writing them. You may have already guessed as much due to lack of posting. Plus, I feel weird blogging from work, and to this day I have no PC at home.

So, much love to all two of you readers and ta-ta for now.

Peace.

Freaking Idiots! Gosh.

This morning on my way into work, while still in the parking lot of the complex, I turned the corner and a woman backed right out in front of me from her parking spot. As if that weren’t bad enough, she stopped right there and proceeded to make a call on her cell phone! So, being the ever-patient person that I am, I waited about 2.5 seconds and then leaned into the horn with everything I had. That woke her up.

The Roach

A few times over the course of the last year, I have encountered a gigantic cockroach in my bathroom (don’t EVEN tell me where there is one, there are many…I just don’t want to hear it). Anyway, I got a big can of spray poison to have at-the-ready the next time the bastard showed his ugly face. Turns out that appearance was made last night. Without hesitation, I grabbed that can and ripped the lid off and started spraying like a mad woman. But he would.not.die! As he scurried to safety (or what he thought was safety), I followed his course with more of the toxic spray. From the sink to the floor to the shower curtain to the cabinet and finally the doorway. This is where things started to get ugly, and near the point where I actually started to cry. It flipped on its back and flailed around miserably for an eternity. It was like a train wreck in that while I wanted to look away, I couldn’t. Then I started to choke on the fumes of the spray and thought to myself “I hope this isn’t how the poor cockroach feels! Does the spray just cut off THEIR air supply?” People, I actually CRIED over the writhing death of a cockroach! When I could take it not one moment longer, I got the biggest handful of toilet paper I could hold, grabbed him, and flushed him away.

I honestly think I am scarred for life.

P.S. Thanks to Alwan for answering the phone and calming me down after it happened.